( the organising committee is forced to lie down)

( i look weird!! tx to sher; punch me! n to bao tian who poke my cheek)

hey hey!!! it has been a tough week for me!! slp 3 to 4 hrs on average this entire week.. perhaps holidays is coming le ba, tat's y i'm so trapped with proj and assignments.... but perhaps, i can sae i din manage my time well ba.. tat's y i always alp tat little. due to that reason, i hv pimple (acne) outbreak.. ouch!! pain!! ugly !!! haiz... god!!! hwlp me!!! ever since i fiished my A level exam, i had pimple outbreak, i ask the doctor y like this..he told me is maturity.. haha!! Maturity?? weird!! i'm 19 le leh!! The!!! so weird.. forget it.. leave it alone ba... and pray for my face and complexion...
despite that, i was praised my my prof on fri on my assignment.. the assignment shld be graded 2.5 but he gave me 3 cos of my work and the no of correct qn. ( i suppose!). Onli my script, ther's a star besides the 3.. yea!! seriously, i'm not confident cos i really cant do at all.. but tx god for this.. despite of my tight schedule, i can stil excel in my work.. recently, i hv a new direction.. besides being someone influential in this world, god has challenged me to step up a step of faith to sacrfice for his kingdom; to do more things in his kingdom. Seriously, i was stunned.. oh man!! sacrfice??? sacrifice my studies?? god, u noe i wan to take double degree but..... "ting, stop questioning! jus do it!! jus be obedient to my word, ya??" i teared!! i felt a pain in my heart!! ya.. god!! i'm willing to follow u!! i believe that when i follow god and be obedient, i wil get hundred and thousands fold of blessings... ya!!!
my fav song:

Lord We need your grace and mercy
We need to pray like never before
We need the power of your holy spirit
To open heaven's door

Spirit touch your church
Stir the Hearts of Men
Revive us Lord
With your passion once again
I want to care for others
Like Jesus cares for me
Let your rain fall upon me
Let your rain fall upon me

Lord we humbly come before you
We don't deserve of you what we ask
But we yearn to see your glory
Restore this dying land

Another fav song:

I long for you, O Lord
I long to noe you more
I long to have you heart
Placed in me everyday
I long for
I long for u , O lord

( I long for)
( I long for you)
( I long for )
(I long for you, O lord)

actually, at first, i dun like this song..
i think it's weird..
but i began to realise it is nice... hahaha!!!

bb.. going back to complete my AW and IS200..
catch u guys again..
and yea!!!
i wil be going for the helpers and leaders' outing ltr at 5!!!
it wil be successful.......... (cos we really put our efforts to plan this)

The Student's Psalm

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk.
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying.
He leadeth me besides the water cooler for a study break.
He restores my faith in my study guides.
He leads me to better study habits.
For my grades' sake

Yea, though I walk thru' the valley of borderline grades,
I will not have a nervous breakdown,
For Thou art with me;
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.
Thou givest me the answers in moments of blankness;
Thou anointst my head with understanding,
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognize.
Surely passing grades and flying colors shall follow meAll the days of examinations;
And I shall not have to dwell in failure
Forever!

An EXciting day!!
today is an exciting day for me!! though i hv insuff slp, i stil felt energetic.. haha!! my energy is always = to my randomness.. i think gek ting has a shock!! it may be the first time she saw the random side of me.. haha!! i was so random that i start talking to the article which i was reading. haha!! i oso dun noe why i behave in such a way.. hahah!! random ba!! i always did this wheneva i'm random or stressed up or maybe both ba!! haha!! so my frenz out there.. dun be afraid whne i start talking to the air one day!! haha! no la.. i'm communicating wif the holy spirit!! crapy me!!! start my randomness again!!
wed is a busy day.. sch is jus like a routine.. but an exciting one.. today i kearn abt the skills of case facilitating.. i finally realised that if i din prepare for case facilitations, i wun be able to respond.. wil read up for the next one.. wat is over cant be pulled back to now!!! yup yup... and today, i realised that there'r a lot of assignments this week. 2 assignments are due nxt week.. haiz!! i cant really study this weekend; sat is my sabbath day while sunday i hv my grp helpers n leaders outing.. oh man!! saying bat this outing, i'm veri stressed up too.. the expectations from myself n my leaders are far too high for me to handle.. plus the stress of work is terrible.. i jus prayed for an increase in capacity... my IS200 will be almost done by tml provided we r really focused.. i had done my part.. i almost finish the whole of qn 1.. noe left wif their editing and another qn.. can de!! i believed i can finish by this weekend.. can de!!! jia you ting!!
went dinner wif my lau da; hui erl (actually she's ,y section leader in usher la) haha!! we jus fellowship wif each other; noeing each other's life and sharing abt our tuition assignment. i was so angry that i cried during my tuition yesterday.. the student is too disobedient til i was devastated and broke down into tears.. he was like " sorry lor!!" oh man!! angry!!! nvm!!! wil be over soon!!! after his exam, i dun think i wan to continue.. i cant take such kiddy kid.. haiz!! no matter god din put me in children church. he has his reason behind it!!! after chatting wif hui erl, i found that both my SL and CGL were talking abt the same thing; they advised me to stay away from someone. they did not look down on that someone but they jus think is inappropriate. they believe that an eagle breeds an eagle. They did not wan me to disown tht relationship wif that someone; they jus wan me to open my eyes n choose my best frenz.. that someone wil be my close n gd frenz.. but not best.. ya!! i noe that too!! i noe wat i'm doing. dun worry.. i wil listen to ur advice...
i learn abt how to be led by the holy spirit.. yea man!! is gd..though my teacher changed but she made the lessons veri interesting.. be4 we go, all of us speak in tongues and pray.. the teacher ask us to pray for our neighbour too.. i pray for that gal besides me.. she cried as i was praying for her.. think the holy spirit is mooving in her.. after praying, she hugged me.. oh man!! this is the first time... wil hv a lot of time in the future..

Ai ya!! forgot to blog this.. was hanging ard wif lorraine this afternoon.. after encouraging me, she began to tell me abt her burden for this cg..
first, i wan to welcum the 2 new mbrs who rededicate their life to GOD!!
but i'm given a task to talk to one of them whom i dun really hv a gd impression.. maybe she's tooo young, tat's y sometimes wat she sae i find it childish n jus shut my ears.. oh man!!! a difficult task.. she was driving lorraine crazy and constantly testing her patience... will i feel this way too?? haha!! but i wil try.. since i can change cheryl fro a rebellious n irregular usher to now a potential helper in usher.. i think i can do it.. i can do all things thru christ who strengthens me.. i'll hv energizer's attitude; nv say give up!!!
second, i was asked to go for cg earlier this week to help out in the worship!! haha!! it has been so long i have not help out to "lead" worship,.. okies.. i wil preserve my voice for fri cg prayer meeting... plus, lorraine wan every of us to pray out this week.. hmmmm.. shld nt be a pro ba.. since i always pray in fron of the usher leaders.. i still tumble but ... wil be alriite... as long as lorraine din kip nudging me to pray for the whole PM.. ( throat wil get dry ya?? then no voice for the nxt day)
haha!!
cya!!

a teary day!!
in the morning, i hv argument wif my parents regarding money (allowance) issue. so frustrated ya i din ans much.. i jus walked out of the hse pretendng they r invisible.. oh man!! wat attitude m i giving them? when i was on my way to sch, my tears were abt to roll down but i tell myself "No! ting!! is ok!! everything wil be alrite! You wil be brave!!" but the moment i reach home, i look at amy and cried out.. i'm so upset abt it. during bgs class, prof mentions abt travelling to macau for case study.. i wan to go!!!! but how can i get the money,.. i dun wan to get fro them!! plus, i have to pay for my own SOT nxt yr.. the moment i think of it, i teared again.. daryl is like there provding me with tissues.. after class, i met my dearest doris; someone dearest and closest to me. we are like talking.. again.. i teared and cried out. oh man!! my third time,,, haiz.. upon knowing wat happened to me, lorraine( my cgl) came al the way down and lokk for me. she supposed to work at attributes today but she requested for a leave so that she can fellowship wif me.. oh man!! tx lorraine...she shared wif me a lot of things and her experiences.she told me this" ting, u can be a gd leader but u need to hv a breakthru in ur emotion". ya, i noe!! i'm trying too.. she then shared wif me wat pastor sae to her.. pastor noe she has emotion prob thus he consider alot be4 lorraine became a cgl.. he sae " even if u r the most imperfect person in this world, GOD wil stil use u!!" "God use silly, foolish ppl to challenge the wise".. when i heard of that, i teared again.. ya!! God!! y did u choose me?? Y did u promote me even if i'm so imperfect??" i wan to be perfect; one with character similar as jesus! but y is stan always so evil.. why is he always attcking me n ppl ard me!! haiz!! accept it ba..
overcoming satan is more impt...
i stil love my parents a lot.. i shall jus humble myself n they wil c the change in me!! a gd testimony!!!

YEA!! finally done!! Oh man!! IP1 is tolerating can?? i spend like 2 weeks or so to do!! there's a lot of research and readings to do!! besides that, there're stil other proj n assignments like Alice programming, BGS minor n major proj, AS proj, my debate research n reports, joel's presentaion research n report, AW assignments (essays!! oh man!! like GP) .... i'm so tight down by all these asignments n proj.. at times, i wil feel tired!!! but i think it's jus abt my own mentality n attitude towards all these ba.. like wat jeff sae; if u r feeling frustrated that day, is ur decision to let go or dwell within it?? yea!! though he sae that a few months ago, i stil mediate on it and try to apply esp when i'm down n frustrated. and i was impacted by wat sis florence sae during briefing on sat. she sae taht everyone has a 24 hrs a day; it is ur choice to decide wat u r going to do with this 24 hrs. like ur frenz? go ard n play wif ur frenz? study? she personally dun think taking break is a wise decision unless one is really in a desperate state. yea!! i agree to wat she sae. if i use my weekdays wisely on my work, i dun tink i'm unable to cope with my sch work.. i brought me to think if i had been uysing my time wisely fro the starting of sch til now.. i admit sometimes, i din at all. i wil spend time hanging wif my fenz n chit chat. though i noe it wil be uneffective environment to study, i kip going there!! haiz!! unwise me!! this is wat i like abt hanging ard wif my leaders.. i always get impacted n learnt something fro them.. tx to my leaders. though i'm imperfect now, i wil strive to be betta in both sch n church!! seem shallow?? but it's really wat i desire.. perhaps a lot of ppl desire like me too!! ra!!
til now, i stil enjoy myself in sch. though it's tiring n stressful, i noe at least i learn something new.. sometimes my frenz wil ask me, ting, aren't u tired? y r u always so enthu de? hu motivates u?? i told them; God!! then every of them there went blank!! i wil continue telling them abt the process of learning. ha!!
blog again!!

here is me, zhen n ting!! my best buddies since sec sch!! 7 yrs of friendship!! wil be stronger!







My lunch today!! wif jia qing, joel n my dearest doris!! gal, love ya!!






my cg went there for outreach jus now!! the respond is gd!!
i was playing with this a moment ago!!i miss my childhood days!!
The gals!!
i love this most!!


yea!! i got back my As assignment!! i got my full mark again! i wan to tx god for this cos i'm not confident at all!! tx god!! another thing to tx god is i got back my overall IS 101 result! i got A grade so far!! more room for improvement.. yea man!! can de.. i had been slping 2 to 4 hrs every day this week.. wow!! tiring!! but i hardly slp in the class... wheneva i wan to slp, i wil pray in tongue in my heart or softly.. can de!! another is 101 proj due soon!! oh man!! rush n chiong like crzy!!
blog again ba!!

Traumatize by datelines and mutli- assignments and projects..
ya u r rite yi han!! my enthusiasm is like no longer there!! i feel tired at times.. i feel like resting be4 i move on.. d.besides sch stress, i'm rather pressurized by the upcoming helpers n leaders outing.. it muz be organised wif a higher standard... but til now, the feedback i get fro the chief usher is not veri gd. He expects more fro me.. oh man!! i need wisdom.. sometimes, i really feel like crying out loud; releasing all my stress which is bottled up in me. but i'm the one who always control my tears..maybe it is really the challenging time for me ba.. is where i wil be transformed n grow up to a big gal'; someone who wun cry over small matters, cry over stress and etc.... but thru this period of time, i knew a few frenz.. they r always there for me.. like the ushers i have been working wif, they make me feel so loved. despite of my D, they really care n love me . i can feel the love from them.. tx guys!! another one is joel.. he's always helping me.. i dun noe if god has sent this bro- in- christ to help me. i suppose so.. tx dude!! u r my best proj mate n frenz!!
everything wil be alrite soon!! i will c the light directing me veri veri soon!!! i'll walk out of darkness soon!! god, i pray for ur anointing n wisdom.. i dun wan to be anyone else who miss u even if u r jus 0.0000000005m away fro them.. i wan to pull myself closer to u... let me work in ur power... ya??
Expecting something significant tml! i oso sun noe wat's tat?? this is wat GOD told me the other day!! tve or -ve??? dun noe..
off to finish my proj..
bb..

SHOPPING!! I'M A SHOPOHOLIC!!!
yea man!! today i went out wif my best buddies to orchard to cele min's birthday!! it has been a long while be4 we meet up again!! ( except for ai zhen who is in my cell grp). We went to HK restaurant to eat be4 we start catching up wif each other's lives!! I realised that all of them hv a very lovely, sweet boyfrenz who love them a lot! GD!! muz love them jus as i do, ok?? ( as if their guys wil look at my blog? ha!) then they start questioning me; hey ting, where's urs?? "Huh!! why muz i hv one? what is the point of having one then break up due to some crazy reasons which wil make me upset! i wan to study!" Jie min interrupt " Gd! wenting shldn't get into one; relationship wil jus cause disruption to her studies. I think she shld study now!" This reminds me of my grandma; wheneva i go n visit her, she wil ask me the same qn; ting huh!! where is ur bf? are u attached a not? y no?? is time le leh!! haiz.. so sianx.. grandma always ask me the same qn.. then she wil start to compare me wif my cousins. haiz!! granny is not i dun wan, is dun hv la... i'm still not tat open to guys la.. i had learnt from my realtionship wif jon that a copule shld noe each other more be4 they get together. is not abt tolerance is abt acceptance, ya? like wat cyn sae; even if the guy u like do silly things u wil find it cute... her silly things include digging nose.. oh man!!
back to today hanging out wif my buddies!! after catching up, we went shopping.. i bought 2 tops which onli cost 20 bucks.. yea man!! it's so cheap cos zhen's frenz is working there!! love the 2 shirts.. they r jus normal shirts wif cool n meaningful paintings on... i hang out wif them til 5. after which i went home n study.. mugger!! ( like wat prof sae abt me!!)
actually, i felt stressed these days.. everyone wo saw me asked me a similar qn; y u look so tired? ya i'm.. was mulit-tasking these few days or rather this entire week...i'm currently rushing my assignments of course and planning an usher outing for my group.. the assignments are piling up!! the readings are piling up too!!!the planning is super rush now!! the outing is on the 30 sept but currently we r stil settling the caterer n the function room!! oh man!! i think i'm so D yesterday when i brief the ushers in the organising committee. i think they r quite afraid of me; when they din submit wat i wan them to submit on time, they wil msg me n acct to me.. is gd to be acountable but dun be afraid.. when it comes to serious stuff, of course i'll be serious. if otherwise, i wil be veri friendly de ya??

10 random facts again!
1. why is there choco fondue only? wat's abt mango? wat's abt strawsberry?
2. why m i getting so little slp?
3. why m i always the victim for auntie-killers?
4. why i like pooh bear?
5. why i like mickey n minnie mouse?
6. i like shopping.
7. i'm considering enrolling in SOT nxt yr.
8. i'm D I C ( enoch sae is the natural qualities of a leader. he claim tat! haha)
9. i'm chionging like crazy everyday.
10. i love u guys out there!!

Yea man!! i had submitted my most 2 impt assignmnets this week; Alice and Acad writing essay.
haha!! yea man!! i jus prayed the prof can see the amt of effort i really put in and gif me a gd grade.. oh ya!! praise jesus and god for being so faithful to me always. i got back another assignment; i got full marks! yea! so suprising! i'm in uni le yet.. hahaha!! by his grace. i believe that that generous God wil bless me even more.. yea!! God u rox!! love ya?
was at cg meeting jus now. jus felt the LOrd telling me abt his presence and my willingness to open up to him. i was receiving his words when suddenly lorraine came to pray for me saeing the same thing. i teared a little!! telling HIM to forgive me and nv let me go! or rather i can sae is i wun let U go, my goD!! i really enjoy the whole cg meeting. it was great. i felt refreshed!! i wasn't tired at all despite of the few hrs of slp everyday! yea man!! god is my strength..
sometimes i was wondering... what if i din receive him into my heart? what if i was an unbeliever out there in the marketplace? i had already neing god that late.. how i wish i had known him from the start ; from the day i was born.
oh ya!! last thing to mention, i was freaked out by an auntie.. she's so funny!! went ard the bus scolding ppl. i think she's weird.. she pushed n hit those ppl who try to help me to a seat. For those ppl, she called them as pervents! there'r 2 china chinese on bus. i think they are afraid too.. so the moment they saw that auntie trying to stand betw them, they went to the seats in front and alight at the next stop.. that weird weird auntie was like u r afraid i'm a robber is it? wat u alight at gelyang? confirm u r a prostitute. oh man!! then she was standing close to me which is reflected from the window screen of the bus. oh man!! i was shivering.. at the moment she touched me wif her plastic bag, i scream ( as said by jas n jac). the onli thing i rmb is that i jump a little from my seats. oh man!! she was then talking to me abt her legs and kip criticising ppl of diff races, nationality. hai!! i wil pray for that lady..

HATING LIFE!!


hate my life!!!
now is alraedy 12.51am!! yet i'm stil in sch rushing Alice assignment which is due ltr at 5...
oh man!!!
hate my life!
hate my life!
hate my life!
God!!! why IS?? why not biz? Econ? accountancy? social science? law?
why IS??
God sae: Dun doubt! this is jus the beginning of ur journey! u hv a long way to go! As promised, you wil be someone great in the marketplace!

The challenges! My random facts!

this challenges me!!
"how much time do you spend pursuing God's word?"
to those who is in debt, without job, in trouble or in tough times , their ans wil be the same--- little or none at all.
As Jesus' ministry began, He sae "Wisdom Himself"
Without wisdom, we cannot fulfill the will of God for our lives nor can we live above the circumstances of life. Why is wisdom impt? Wisdom is the ability to accurately apply God's word to every situation. Yea man!! the word of god can be applied to every situation. Onli those who seek his word wil experience the real true wisdom fro heaven. yea! yea!! hope this encourage u too!!
Like wat Bro told me, every person has a word at diff season. At this pt of time, wisdom is the word for me! i'm still trying to fig out how can i corporate this into my life besides seeking his word. Sometimes, i think my behaviour n actions aren't applying the wisdom from god! ai yo!! me huh!! but i wil try, ya??
btw, today i had my debate. oh man!! everything is cool n fine til the last part when every one start bombarding me wif qn. i expected it! cos i'm for the idea of the abolishment but it's worse n bad than i expected.. oh man!!! in the evening, prof sent me an email telling me i got 7.1.. oh man! i expected higher marks.. but... nvm.. at least i try my best.. lorraine had this common phrase" if u do ur best, god wil do the rest" ya!! i did my best.. i think i shall take it n move on!! haha!! at least i'm not tat sad after noeing that. haha!!
today, i met bao tian n yong quan at funan for lunch n discussion abt outing. oh man!! i'm so not C!! i'm not tat detailed can?? i had failed to recognise the limtations n constraints.. oh man!! i used to be so C but now... ai yo!! wat happened to wenting.. study til my brain-juice is all squeeze out.. haha!!
btw, i did the DISC test jus now..
i'm so D n I la.. My C decrease and my S remains the same; stil so low.. haha!!! ya.. i muz admit i'm not S at all.. on average, i'm D I C. ha!!
btw, i wan to mention abt my random tots! i felt so random recently..
1. y it's so hot? cos it din rain.
2. i wan to enjoy choco fodue wif bao, jen, ....
3. i wan ben n jerry's ice cream
4. and my fav mochi- lychee n peach pls.
5. i wan to shop for my heels ( not tat high) n clothes.. i wan that jacket fro Espirit
6. i wan to eat chicken wings
7. i wan to eat stingray
8. i hate stress but i love studying
9. i miss yangting, jie min n zhen.. miss hanging out wif them
10. i love my first love; my Abba God

Gos sae: Focus ting!! Wisdom wil come upon u.. u wil be someone who excel in studies and someone wif gd time management. The onli condition is tat u muz be focus. U muz be focused in watevea planned for u now!!!!
Daniel sae: was praying for u and felt in my heart a word 4 u. Even as u go thru all hardships, noe tat the Lord ur God is wif u. This is a process to mould u into something greater dat u can nv imagine for god has a plan for u. He wil raise u up to be a standard of excellence for ppl ard u to c, to be salt n light 4 SMU.
yea man!! god pls me ur rhema!!! i need it!! i was facing a period of difficulties recently. My heart is always disobeying me! ( perhaps it rooted doen to my attitude and hw i c things again), there;re really lots of assignments n proj.. SMU is driving me crazy la... Seriouly i dun think SMU is a dumping ground!! students there can be identified by eye bag.. haha! they really work hard and study hard.. wlmost every nite when i stay in sch to study, there'll be a lot of stud studying wif me.. haha!! at least i'm not alone!!
GOD!!!!

sick!! fever last nite! flu now! headache now!! oh man!!!
i'm a little sick now!!
a lot of assignment and proj to rush.. i tot smu is diff fro the other sch like ntu or nus..
indeed it's different. i found out that smu stud is more chiong than the students over there..
first wee, i had heard ppl camping in sch.. second week, a proj of mine has began to stay in sch n study till midnight.. third week?? it's my turn.. i stayed in sch till eleven plus and study.. oh man!! sometimes i really feel discouraged and sick over my life.. Aiming to be one of the top in sch indeed wan me to pay a price.. i wan to show my ushers tat indeed i'm a gd testimony in both marketplace n in church.. but sometimes, i felt so sick balancing them.. wat i learnt fro bs today is it's diff to fulfill god's will n purpose in our life if onli we use our own strength.. ALWAYS LEAN ON HIM FOR HELP!!! yea man!! this really impact my heart... Abba dady.. i wil work harder no matter wat.. be someone influential in the marketplace!
btw, my N80 is giving me trouble. i din drop it but it kip hanging and the button can hardly to be pressed.. but my daddy and mummy promise to buy a new phone for me.. haha!! give me wisdom to buy a betta function , beta appearance, betta???? i jus wan a betta phone!! haha!! yea!! a new phone coming in its way!!

haha!!! i lost weight le!!! i dun even need to unbutton to take it out!! haha!! yea man!! 2 ++ weeks onli leh!! i think i wil reach my ideal weight of 45kg soon... yea yea!!! but my mama is like "u look so ugly now!!" same thing- she starts blaming church.. haiz!!! pls pray for me!!!
btw, i think i screwed up for my presentation today!! sob!! haiz.. dun noe wat happened to me!! my mind jus went blank.. i hv a new strategy; nxt presentation i wil either get notes or draw pic since i'm rather visual. hmmm.. though it was a sda thing that i screwed up my presentationn, i jus prayed that the other grp which present in the 2nd week din do well as well.. hahah!! evil me!!! i really wan to be a gd testimony in the marketplace. i wan to tell my mama n daddy that though i go church, i stil can manage my studies well.. if i score well, hopefully, they wil sponsor me for my SOT nxt yr.. yep yep!! i think i wil be going SOT nxt yr.. still praying abt it!!!
the infatuation is making me suffer now!!! still i'm suffering... the spirit in me is always against god!!! throw u out!!! throw u out!!!!!! throw u out!!!! u r so bad!!! y u make me suffer!!!! i hate u bad spirit!!!
*** gd result+ gd attitude+ gd testimony in church n mktplace+ gd cpmlexion+ gd realtionship wif u my god and my dearest family and frenz+ gd vision+ gd focus= my onli desire